im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
