i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
