Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
