Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
