We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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