watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
