She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
