Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
