i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
