just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
