If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize