woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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