...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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