I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
