All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
