You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize