the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want a musical about memes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
