dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
