It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
