The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
