..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Please, let me fuck your mom
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
