you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There r osticjed everywhere
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
