I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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