i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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