I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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