i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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