all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
