hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize