A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This is my gift to your gina
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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