dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ok first of all what the fuck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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