Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize