Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
