Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
