i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
