Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
