dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she pinky promised me she was 18
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
