Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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