did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
