So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
