some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
