I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
