you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
