your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
