My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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