sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
