My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
