Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
