Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
