Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
