Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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