Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is classic penis vs brain.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
