Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
