I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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