I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
