We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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