Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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