omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
