soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
