he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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