Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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