I got her a Nickelback box set.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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